Quiet power: Why your leadership style already works

I used to think leadership meant becoming someone I'm not. You know what I'm talking about — that person who dominates the room, talks over everyone, and somehow keeps getting promoted?

Yeah. That person.

For a long time, I'd watch these people and think, "Well, this isn't for me." Because that's not me. And it's probably not you either.

Here's the truth though ...

The loudest voice in the room isn't always the one people actually want to follow.

Let's be honest about leadership

With only a few women leaders in STEM to look up to, it's easy to believe you need to be aggressive or intimidating to get ahead. I've watched brilliant women try to force themselves into this mould and end up miserable.

I nearly did it, too.

But then I realised something that changed everything for me... the best leaders aren't putting on an act. They're just being their authentic (and imperfect) selves.

There are actually 3 types of remarkable leaders

Harvard research shows strong leaders usually fall into one of these styles (and NONE of them require being someone you're not):

1. The Warm Connector

These leaders build trust through authentic relationships. They:

• Connect on a human level, making you feel truly seen and heard
• Read emotions and adapt their approach to what people need
• Create safe spaces where people want to follow, not have to follow
  
  

2. The Trusted Expert

These leaders earn respect through competence and integrity. They:

• Command attention through deep knowledge, not loud voices
• Stand firm when needed, but admit when they don't have all the answers
• Make decisions people trust because they've proven their judgment
  
  

3. The Inspiring Visionary

These leaders motivate through possibility and belief. They:

• Paint futures so compelling you can't help but get excited
• Create environments where growth happens naturally
• Focus on helping others succeed, not just themselves
  
  

Real women, real leadership

Let me show you how some remarkable women lead without pretending to be someone they're not:

Jacinda Ardern (Warm Connector) Former Prime Minister of New Zealand. Remember when she showed up wearing a hijab after the Christchurch shootings? Sat with grieving families and simply said, "They are us." No political games. Just real human connection. And somehow she still got important things done without being forceful about it.

Angela Merkel (Trusted Expert) The woman who led Germany for 16 years. Not by giving rousing speeches or dominating the room... but by being the smartest person at the table who made rational decisions people could trust. Calm, steady, unshakeable. That's power without the drama.

Michelle Obama (Warm Connector with Visionary vibes) She connects through stories that make you feel like she gets you. No pretending. No fake politician smile. Just real talk that makes people feel valued. And somehow she inspires you to be better without making you feel inadequate.

Finding YOUR way to lead (not someone else's)

Here's how to find your own style:

1. Stop trying to be someone else.

I spent years thinking I have to be louder and more dominant. You know what happened? It felt really awkward, and it was incredibly exhausting to pretend. It actually made me perform worse.

The quickest way to fail as a leader is pretending. People can detect inauthenticity from across the conference room.

2. Figure out what makes you, YOU

Ask yourself: What do people naturally come to you for? What problems do you solve without even thinking about it?

I went through this process myself and discovered I'm strongest when connecting with others and empowering them to see their own potential. That realisation gave me the confidence to start my own business.

(And if you're curious to find out your own strengths, ​here's a free assessment that top companies use​.)

I see so many brilliant women holding themselves back because they're constantly looking at what they DON'T have instead of recognising what makes them special.

The real power move? Look inside instead of outside.

The world doesn't need another identical leader. It needs YOUR kind of leadership — authentic and uniquely YOU.